The first time you started going out – wasn’t it magical? Where did the magic go? All relationships, even the most successful ones, tend to become a bit less magical, that doesn’t mean that the love fades away, it is natural. Routine tends to take over but love can and will survive, using neuroscience, we must simply adapt to certain realities to get what we want and deserve in our relationships.
Realize the difference
First of all, we must establish that men are different. While women tend to be emotional, men are more critical, they are built as problem solvers. In fact the two genders in his book – Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, Dr. John Gray has declared them as Martians and Venusians (from two different planets) that have been united here on Earth. We must not expect men to react the same way we do, so if that’s the case, there’s nothing for you to worry about because it is normal. In fact positivity will solve half of the problem, know and admit that he loves you just as much you love him.
Don’t offer suggestions unless asked
When a man is stressed with a problem, offer support and comfort, don’t expect him to open up immediately (as you would to him – as established earlier, there are differences). Don’t offer suggestions for solving that problem as well . As mentioned earlier, men are problem solvers, let them do what they are built for, this is analogous with believing in their ability. But in case they do ask for your suggestions then feel free to do so, in a positive and constructive way.
Let him have his alone time
Your husband just came home from work and you’ve had a miserable day and can’t wait to tell him, but he has buried himself on the couch watching TV? Don’t take this the wrong way, he needs this alone time to cool off and lose all that work stress. He’s probably had a hard time too and simply needs his alone time. Just as batteries need recharging. Give him that time, don’t dive in when he wants to cool off, this is a way to be supportive. After that phase, he will comfort you over your troubles too. And then you can have a peaceful dinner together.
Show him appreciation
Just as women want to be cherished, men crave appreciation, after all they do try to do all that they can to sustain a good marriage. And it’ll be a great thing for them to hear once in a while, how much you appreciate and admire the efforts they are making for us.
Ask for support but don’t demand it
Now this one’s tricky, women need support but you have to ask it in a non-demanding tone. First of all master the timing, don’t ask for something that he’s going to do anyway. That seems bossy, i.e. if you know that he’s going to take out the trash then saying so will be insulting for him. Be non-demanding, brief. Don’t try to convince – obviously he’ll do anything you ask of him. And most importantly be direct. For example, instead of saying that the groceries are in the car, be direct and ask if would get them from the car. This way he won’t be offended, you’ll get your support and he’ll appreciate the way you talk to him.
And most of all, remember that love never dies
