There are some big relationship milestones that everyone thinks about. Your first month, your first kiss, your first anniversary. All the big ones, right? Then, there are some less-talked-about but equally exciting milestones, with a major one being your first trip together. Below we cover some pros and cons of traveling with your new significant other, so you can decide what’s best for you.
Let’s Set Some Ground Rules First
Alright, one of the biggest ways to set yourself up for success here is to time your first trip correctly. Yes, you’re in a newer relationship. That’s not an issue. The issue here is too new of a relationship.
Now, there’s no objective standard for what constitutes newer versus too new. However, you can gauge where you’re at based on some signposts. Are you comfortable sharing more personal details? Would small gifts like everyday jewelry still feel a little much? How much do you trust the person you’re with? If you bristled at any of those questions, your relationship is still too new. If you didn’t, though, there’s a decent chance you’re ready.
You also want to plan something reasonable. Your first trip should not be across the world. Maybe make a day trip to a nearby town. Maybe you cross state lines for a weekend trip. This is sort of an aim small, miss small scenario. Don’t take big swings too early – that’s just not a worthwhile risk yet.
Pros and Cons of Traveling in a Newer Relationship
Pro: You Can Create Some Really Romantic Gestures
You don’t have to break out a promise ring at the end of your trip. However, if you two are already head over heels, it’s certainly a good time to do it. Any gesture when on a trip is going to be magnified, so you’re really benefiting from a bonus here. Utilize it!
Con: It’s Nerve-Wracking
Travel can already be stressful enough, especially if planes or long train rides are involved. Do you want to add a new person to that stress? Of course, having someone with you can alleviate stress as well, so this could really go either way. Still, if you’re a nervous traveler or just used to doing your own thing, having your newly-mined significant other along for the ride may not make things better.
Pro: You Can Really Get to Know Each Other
Travel can really jump-start that deeper getting-to-know-each-other process. Yeah, you know the surface-level stuff and generally what the other values and all that. However, there’s so much more to be learned, and travel really lends itself to that openness. Whether you like or hate what you learn, that’s useful data going forward, so it’s a win-win.
Con: You’re Traveling with a Stranger
Okay, admittedly, this is a bit hyperbolic. However, there’s certainly some truth to it. Yeah, you know each other a bit, but, like, do you really? Just because you both like sushi and New Girl doesn’t mean you should go half-sies on airline miles.
Pro: It Might Go Incredibly Well…
This could be a great story you get to tell for the rest of your life. If you’re a glass-half-full type of person, this is probably the way you were already leaning. Don’t ignore obvious red flags in favor of vague romanticism, but also don’t stifle that positivity. This could go incredibly well.
Con: … Or It Might Go Terribly
Yeah, this one really just speaks for itself. You might realize you don’t travel well together and break up before you hit LaGuardia. Still, there’s something good to that. Yeah, the journey might be less than pleasant, but you’ll quickly realize your lack of compatibility and both be able to go your separate ways.
Pro: You Can See How You Handle Pre-Trip Logistics
Half of the trip’s excitement is in the planning. At least, for some of us. Maybe that’s you, and you’re with someone who’s the same way. Maybe one of you likes to plan a detailed and budget-friendly trip itinerary, and the other wants to just show up and see what happens. This is a hugely important thing to learn, so you might as well find out sooner rather than later.
Con: It May Cost More
You’re in a new relationship. There’s no guarantee that either or both of you are comfortable sharing a room in any capacity. Of course, you want to respect comfort levels, so you book separate rooms. Not a philosophical issue, but lodging did just get twice as expensive. If you’re happy to budget around issues like this and make the proper considerations, though, this doesn’t have to be a con.
Pro: You’re Going to Create Memories
Even if those memories are “Oh man, that was a wildly terrible time; let me tell you all about it,” they’re still memories. Of course, we’re hoping the memories are happy, and they’re the ones you tell the grandkids about. Either way, you’re guaranteed to learn something here and come home with new experiences that will inform future decisions.
As long as you go into this with the right intentions, you’ll be fine. Maybe it goes incredibly well, and you travel the world together until you’re 102. Maybe it goes terribly and you never speak again. If your goal is to figure out whether the person you’re with is the one, both of those potential outcomes actually provide a lot of positives.